From the vault

I wrote this poem a while ago (back when I was temping, back when I was dating, back when I gave a shit about my weaselly ex-boyfriend). But I didn't include it in either of my books. And I found it recently and liked it. I hope you like it, too.

Acting Like I Care

I don't act to entertain,
but I am an incredible actress.

I never forget my lines,
I'm not easily distracted
and I can make you believe
whatever I want you to.

I'm such a good actress,
I never stop acting.
I'm always acting.
I act my little heart out.
I could be acting right now
or not.
You can't tell.
That's how good I am.

I act stupid at temp jobs, so I don't have to work.
I act interested on dates, so I can make fun of them later.
I act glad to see my ex-boyfriend when I run into him in the east village after not having seen him or heard from him for eleven months even though I really want to whack his fucking black baseball cap off his ugly head
and kick his ass when he bends down to pick it up.

The award has yet to be invented that's
impressive enough to celebrate my work.
(Although I already have my speech written:
A list of people I'd like to publicly humiliate,
because it's so much more fun than giving thanks.)

I am an incredible actress.
And I can prove it.
You probably think I'm as angry as I seem.
I'm not. It's all an act.
I've fooled you.
I'm acting.
I'm not really this angry.
I'm much, much angrier.